Post by Okwes on Apr 26, 2007 11:50:34 GMT -5
Troubled childhoods, but brighter futures After parents fail daughters,
foster grandparents help two Warm Springs sisters bounce back and
embrace their native heritage
By Nancy Pasternack / The Bulletin
[Half sisters Salena Strong, 17, and Venus Garate, 14, are among 30
Warm Springs residents who attend the Riverside Indian boarding school
in Anadarko, Okla. - Paula McBride / For The Bulletin]
Paula McBride / For The Bulletin
Half sisters Salena Strong, 17, and Venus Garate, 14, are among 30 Warm
Springs residents who attend the Riverside Indian boarding school in
Anadarko, Okla. [Venus Garate, 14, left, and Salena Strong, 17, are
from Warm Springs Indian Reservation and now attend Riverside Indian
School in Oklahoma. The girls have been attending the boarding school
for nearly three years and are doing well after troubled childhoods. -
Paula McBride / For The Bulletin]
Paula McBride / For The Bulletin
Venus Garate, 14, left, and Salena Strong, 17, are from Warm Springs
Indian Reservation and now attend Riverside Indian School in Oklahoma.
The girls have been attending the boarding school for nearly three years
and are doing well after troubled childhoods. For more information
For more information on the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome, visit
www.nofas.org <http://www.nofas.org/> or niaaa.nih.gov/aboutNIAAA/
<http://niaaa.nih.gov/aboutNIAAA/>
WARM SPRINGS - Their grandpa sits by the front window of his Warm
Springs home, working tiny beads, one by one with needle and thread into
a traditional Indian design.
His handcrafted wallets, as well as beaded belts, moccasins and other
accessories, will earn money to help support the girls while they are
away at school.
The girls are Salena Strong, 17, and Venus Garate, 14: Half sisters who,
in Salena's words, "grew up surrounded by nothing but drunks."
Salena says she was born with fetal alcohol effects, and that she and
her sister spent years being passed off from one drug-infested household
to another.
They struggled in school. Salena brought home failing grades.
A new chapter of their lives began seven years ago when they entered the
home of Geraldine and Wilfred Jim, who they know as grandma and grandpa.
There, they began new lives as members of a close-knit, tradition-loving
community, and their new identity as American Indians.
Against difficult odds, say close friends and family members, they are
beginning to thrive.
Earlier this month, the Jims, both 69, hosted a ceremonial gathering on
the Warm Springs Indian Reservation in honor of the girls' achievements.
Most recently, Salena was contacted by the National Honor Roll, a
company that publicizes strong high school academic records for
prospective colleges.
Last year, Venus became a member of the Junior National Honor Society, a
result of her 4.0 grade point average.
"They've learned the old ways, and that has become a part of them," said
Wilson Wewa, a Warm Springs spiritual leader and former cultural
heritage director for the reservation.
Wewa spoke at the ceremony held in the girls' honor. The event was held
at the Warm Springs Longhouse during their winter break from school.
"They have conquered a really hard part of their lives," Wewa said.
"Having a connection with their tribal background has given them a sense
of pride."
Both girls are in their third year at Riverside Indian School in
Anadarko, Okla. Their education at the boarding school, Salena said, is
an extension of what they experienced while living in the Jims' home.
The school has nearly 600 students representing 23 tribes.
Salena and Venus are among 30 current students at the school who are
from Warm Springs.
Having family members she can trust, and a school where, "a lot of kids
have been through the same things we have," Salena said by telephone,
"makes a big difference."
A decade ago, "Everyone said I'd be just like my mom - pregnant at 15
and an alcoholic." Now, the high school senior looks forward to
graduating from high school and possibly going on to college, "I never
thought I would make it this far," she said.
Home at last
On a recent week night, with a fire blazing in their fireplace and the
television tuned to a serial drama, Wilfred and Geraldine Jim shared
memories about raising their own five kids - and dozens of official and
unofficial orphans they have temporarily sheltered during the last four
decades.
Wilfred Jim's deft fingers continued to work steadily, drawing a needle
through a swath of canvas, through a shiny bead, and back again.
"We counted back recently," he said, smiling without looking up from his
work. "I think it's been 49 kids we watched."
His wife took a break from her work on a ceremonial vest and shared what
she knew of Salena and Venus's early childhood.
"They got moved around a lot," she said, "and the family was into drugs
so bad." Salena was once caught stealing diapers and milk for her baby
sister when no adults could be found to care for them.
"Those girls have been through hell," Geraldine said.
When social workers asked the Jims to take the girls in, "they told us
it would be only for a week or two," Geraldine said, glancing at her
husband and laughing.
"That was seven years ago."
During their first months with the Jims, the girls "were like two scared
little puppies," Geraldine said.
"They wouldn't leave each other for a minute," Wilfred said.
Wewa remembers those early days too.
"It was kind of pitiful," he said.
Both girls, "had been getting left all the time, and they weren't doing
well academically."
He remembers seeing the girls cower once when he moved toward them to
take something off a table. The reaction, he said, made him sure they
had experienced some physical trauma.
And they were stubborn.
"I couldn't get them to do anything," Geraldine said. "But I was on to
them all the time like a broken record. The older one was getting Fs.
She was way behind in reading. She just wasn't making it."
"They were hard to teach," Wilfred said. "The whole family had to work
with them."
And work in the Jim household involves more than just reading lessons.
Embracing their identity
The "old Indians," as Geraldine refers to herself and her husband,
require discipline and a fierce dedication to carrying on traditional
Indian customs. The family is known around the reservation as master
craftspeople, and Geraldine is among a handful of tribal authorities on
preparing authentic traditional foods.
Geraldine and Wilfred attend powwows regularly, and Geraldine teaches
dancing and other Indian arts at a weeklong tribal cultural camp for
Warm Springs youth.
The Jims, said Charlotte Herkshan, a mental health counselor who runs
Camp Supsikwat, "have a very unique awareness of the impact of trauma
and the stress from what those kids have witnessed."
And they may have witnessed a lot.
Gordon Whitewolf, a licensed therapist who works at the Riverside Indian
School, said that many students "suffer multigenerational trauma."
Drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and in some cases, child
sexual abuse are among the many issues he faces in dealing with students
at the school, he said.
"We see a lot of kids that are hurt, spiritually and mentally, and
sometimes physically," he said.
The solution is a heavy dose of cultural education, which, by nature of
the school's population, involves sharing of different customs and
beliefs.
And the federally funded school enforces strong boundaries and curfews.
Fourth- through eighth-graders at the school must be in bed by 7 p.m.;
high school students have until 8 p.m.
The combination of cultural identity and discipline, Whitewolf said, "is
powerful."
Herkshan said she has seen the results.
Salena and Venus, she said "are exceptional girls. They have exceeded
way, way beyond anybody's expectations."
"I've learned things about my culture that I never learned before from
my mom or anyone," Salena said. Those things include the proper way to
dig for roots and prepare them for Indian feasts, to dry salmon and eel
for festivals and to prepare deer meat.
"And my grandma taught me how to do a medicine dance," she said. "That's
my favorite thing."
After a full day of classes at Riverside recently, Venus Garate giggled
with her friends between questions from a stranger on the telephone.
Her grades have dropped a bit, recently, and she said she is struggling
especially hard in science.
She no longer sleeps with her big sister. Dormitories at the school are
segregated by grade and gender. She said she's glad for the
independence, though she sees Salena often. Life is pretty good, she
said. She enjoys school, and going home to visit her grandma, who she
said, "took care of us when nobody else did."
As an eighth-grader, college has not yet made its way onto her radar
screen.
But she has done a lot of thinking about her identity.
Venus is the name of her real grandmother - one of many family members
who did not figure into her life during a time, she said, when she and
her sister were struggling.
She and Salena requested early last year that they be formally adopted
by Geraldine and Wilfred. Venus also wants her first name to be changed
to "Tatum." The Jims said they are willing to abide by the girls' wishes
and are currently waiting for tribal paperwork to make the adoption and
name change final.
Salena wants to go on to college, but worries about how far she'll get
academically because of her fetal alcohol effects, which include
learning disorders.
"I need a lot of repetition," she said.
Herkshan said she feels confident about the girls' future.
At the honorary dinner held to celebrate their success, Herkshan said
she saw Venus laugh for the first time, and gained a new sense of
confidence about her.
"Their needs are being met culturally, spiritually and emotionally," she
said of the girls.
"My grandma has faith in us," Salena said. "That makes the difference."
Nancy Pasternack can be reached at 633-2161 or at
npasternack@bendbulletin.com.
foster grandparents help two Warm Springs sisters bounce back and
embrace their native heritage
By Nancy Pasternack / The Bulletin
[Half sisters Salena Strong, 17, and Venus Garate, 14, are among 30
Warm Springs residents who attend the Riverside Indian boarding school
in Anadarko, Okla. - Paula McBride / For The Bulletin]
Paula McBride / For The Bulletin
Half sisters Salena Strong, 17, and Venus Garate, 14, are among 30 Warm
Springs residents who attend the Riverside Indian boarding school in
Anadarko, Okla. [Venus Garate, 14, left, and Salena Strong, 17, are
from Warm Springs Indian Reservation and now attend Riverside Indian
School in Oklahoma. The girls have been attending the boarding school
for nearly three years and are doing well after troubled childhoods. -
Paula McBride / For The Bulletin]
Paula McBride / For The Bulletin
Venus Garate, 14, left, and Salena Strong, 17, are from Warm Springs
Indian Reservation and now attend Riverside Indian School in Oklahoma.
The girls have been attending the boarding school for nearly three years
and are doing well after troubled childhoods. For more information
For more information on the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome, visit
www.nofas.org <http://www.nofas.org/> or niaaa.nih.gov/aboutNIAAA/
<http://niaaa.nih.gov/aboutNIAAA/>
WARM SPRINGS - Their grandpa sits by the front window of his Warm
Springs home, working tiny beads, one by one with needle and thread into
a traditional Indian design.
His handcrafted wallets, as well as beaded belts, moccasins and other
accessories, will earn money to help support the girls while they are
away at school.
The girls are Salena Strong, 17, and Venus Garate, 14: Half sisters who,
in Salena's words, "grew up surrounded by nothing but drunks."
Salena says she was born with fetal alcohol effects, and that she and
her sister spent years being passed off from one drug-infested household
to another.
They struggled in school. Salena brought home failing grades.
A new chapter of their lives began seven years ago when they entered the
home of Geraldine and Wilfred Jim, who they know as grandma and grandpa.
There, they began new lives as members of a close-knit, tradition-loving
community, and their new identity as American Indians.
Against difficult odds, say close friends and family members, they are
beginning to thrive.
Earlier this month, the Jims, both 69, hosted a ceremonial gathering on
the Warm Springs Indian Reservation in honor of the girls' achievements.
Most recently, Salena was contacted by the National Honor Roll, a
company that publicizes strong high school academic records for
prospective colleges.
Last year, Venus became a member of the Junior National Honor Society, a
result of her 4.0 grade point average.
"They've learned the old ways, and that has become a part of them," said
Wilson Wewa, a Warm Springs spiritual leader and former cultural
heritage director for the reservation.
Wewa spoke at the ceremony held in the girls' honor. The event was held
at the Warm Springs Longhouse during their winter break from school.
"They have conquered a really hard part of their lives," Wewa said.
"Having a connection with their tribal background has given them a sense
of pride."
Both girls are in their third year at Riverside Indian School in
Anadarko, Okla. Their education at the boarding school, Salena said, is
an extension of what they experienced while living in the Jims' home.
The school has nearly 600 students representing 23 tribes.
Salena and Venus are among 30 current students at the school who are
from Warm Springs.
Having family members she can trust, and a school where, "a lot of kids
have been through the same things we have," Salena said by telephone,
"makes a big difference."
A decade ago, "Everyone said I'd be just like my mom - pregnant at 15
and an alcoholic." Now, the high school senior looks forward to
graduating from high school and possibly going on to college, "I never
thought I would make it this far," she said.
Home at last
On a recent week night, with a fire blazing in their fireplace and the
television tuned to a serial drama, Wilfred and Geraldine Jim shared
memories about raising their own five kids - and dozens of official and
unofficial orphans they have temporarily sheltered during the last four
decades.
Wilfred Jim's deft fingers continued to work steadily, drawing a needle
through a swath of canvas, through a shiny bead, and back again.
"We counted back recently," he said, smiling without looking up from his
work. "I think it's been 49 kids we watched."
His wife took a break from her work on a ceremonial vest and shared what
she knew of Salena and Venus's early childhood.
"They got moved around a lot," she said, "and the family was into drugs
so bad." Salena was once caught stealing diapers and milk for her baby
sister when no adults could be found to care for them.
"Those girls have been through hell," Geraldine said.
When social workers asked the Jims to take the girls in, "they told us
it would be only for a week or two," Geraldine said, glancing at her
husband and laughing.
"That was seven years ago."
During their first months with the Jims, the girls "were like two scared
little puppies," Geraldine said.
"They wouldn't leave each other for a minute," Wilfred said.
Wewa remembers those early days too.
"It was kind of pitiful," he said.
Both girls, "had been getting left all the time, and they weren't doing
well academically."
He remembers seeing the girls cower once when he moved toward them to
take something off a table. The reaction, he said, made him sure they
had experienced some physical trauma.
And they were stubborn.
"I couldn't get them to do anything," Geraldine said. "But I was on to
them all the time like a broken record. The older one was getting Fs.
She was way behind in reading. She just wasn't making it."
"They were hard to teach," Wilfred said. "The whole family had to work
with them."
And work in the Jim household involves more than just reading lessons.
Embracing their identity
The "old Indians," as Geraldine refers to herself and her husband,
require discipline and a fierce dedication to carrying on traditional
Indian customs. The family is known around the reservation as master
craftspeople, and Geraldine is among a handful of tribal authorities on
preparing authentic traditional foods.
Geraldine and Wilfred attend powwows regularly, and Geraldine teaches
dancing and other Indian arts at a weeklong tribal cultural camp for
Warm Springs youth.
The Jims, said Charlotte Herkshan, a mental health counselor who runs
Camp Supsikwat, "have a very unique awareness of the impact of trauma
and the stress from what those kids have witnessed."
And they may have witnessed a lot.
Gordon Whitewolf, a licensed therapist who works at the Riverside Indian
School, said that many students "suffer multigenerational trauma."
Drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and in some cases, child
sexual abuse are among the many issues he faces in dealing with students
at the school, he said.
"We see a lot of kids that are hurt, spiritually and mentally, and
sometimes physically," he said.
The solution is a heavy dose of cultural education, which, by nature of
the school's population, involves sharing of different customs and
beliefs.
And the federally funded school enforces strong boundaries and curfews.
Fourth- through eighth-graders at the school must be in bed by 7 p.m.;
high school students have until 8 p.m.
The combination of cultural identity and discipline, Whitewolf said, "is
powerful."
Herkshan said she has seen the results.
Salena and Venus, she said "are exceptional girls. They have exceeded
way, way beyond anybody's expectations."
"I've learned things about my culture that I never learned before from
my mom or anyone," Salena said. Those things include the proper way to
dig for roots and prepare them for Indian feasts, to dry salmon and eel
for festivals and to prepare deer meat.
"And my grandma taught me how to do a medicine dance," she said. "That's
my favorite thing."
After a full day of classes at Riverside recently, Venus Garate giggled
with her friends between questions from a stranger on the telephone.
Her grades have dropped a bit, recently, and she said she is struggling
especially hard in science.
She no longer sleeps with her big sister. Dormitories at the school are
segregated by grade and gender. She said she's glad for the
independence, though she sees Salena often. Life is pretty good, she
said. She enjoys school, and going home to visit her grandma, who she
said, "took care of us when nobody else did."
As an eighth-grader, college has not yet made its way onto her radar
screen.
But she has done a lot of thinking about her identity.
Venus is the name of her real grandmother - one of many family members
who did not figure into her life during a time, she said, when she and
her sister were struggling.
She and Salena requested early last year that they be formally adopted
by Geraldine and Wilfred. Venus also wants her first name to be changed
to "Tatum." The Jims said they are willing to abide by the girls' wishes
and are currently waiting for tribal paperwork to make the adoption and
name change final.
Salena wants to go on to college, but worries about how far she'll get
academically because of her fetal alcohol effects, which include
learning disorders.
"I need a lot of repetition," she said.
Herkshan said she feels confident about the girls' future.
At the honorary dinner held to celebrate their success, Herkshan said
she saw Venus laugh for the first time, and gained a new sense of
confidence about her.
"Their needs are being met culturally, spiritually and emotionally," she
said of the girls.
"My grandma has faith in us," Salena said. "That makes the difference."
Nancy Pasternack can be reached at 633-2161 or at
npasternack@bendbulletin.com.
